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Unbelievable. I woke up yesterday morning with the mother of all hangovers having decided to drown my sorrows late into the night.

Yesterday was to be the very last day. I was planning to call an end to everything at 6pm. But we had 1 last meeting planned with a company we had met a couple of weeks prior.

I told my colleague how hungover I was. I was dying. I told him in advance that ironically, I had pulled off some other notable deals in my life hungover. Perhaps it would happen again. Hah. I’m not saying thats a great strategy for raising funds by the way.. just happens to be true.

So we went into this meeting at 10.30am. The alcohol still running through my head… more than likely dripping out of my pores. I felt physical pain… But this was the last meeting I was to ever have on this crazy startup that never wants to die. So I gave it my all. A full on, impassioned, emotional spiel. My defenses were down, but I had nothing to lose. “This is what it is, are you interested?”

On the spot they made an offer to pay off our existing investors, and crucially to fund the company to the level I want for the next couple of years.

Unbelievable, considering.

The fact is that nobody gets rich here, this is not a Snapchat acquisition, but what this is is a deal, survival, security and a future. Personally and for the entity.

Obviously nothing has been signed yet, anything can fall through… but thats where we are.

The show goes on. Hopefully.

Will keep you posted.

John Startup


It’s the final countdown!

Firstly, I never informed you what happened with that investor call on Saturday. It’s too ridiculous to believe.

It was an investor calling me for my take on another startup that we work with who he was about to invest in. And there I was all excited that this was our Golden Ticket moment.

I just learned that said startup has raised 300k in funding. It’s not the first startup that I have noticed and advised investors on. Perhaps there is a future career there.

We are definitely in the final countdown now. End of business tomorrow, I’m calling a halt to this madness. We have a few meetings today and tomorrow, but I see them as being pretty far fetched. I’ve had enough rejections to last a life time. I can take it mind.

I must be honest, our current investors are being a bit of a pain in the ass at this stage. They are not providing much use, their advice is contradictory… and they still want me to linger this on. I’m not sure if you can linger something on, but I’m doing it 🙂

In hindsight consider this… one of our investors was not willing to support a bridge round of funding (around 80K), but wanted us to ask for 17-20 million when we were trying to sell the company.

I’m at a stage where I’m pissed off at everyone – my investors, our non investors, the space we’re in, and myself.


Anyway… it’s not over yet.

John Startup

Do you believe in miracles?

7.14pm. We have pushed back our deadline day to salvage something to next Thursday. In my mind we are in the zone whereby if anything happens… it’s a total miracle. I am facing the reality for what the situation is more and more; I have to with the clock ticking down at the rate it is. 

Really something biblical needs to happen. 

Speaking of which I was just in the gym and I had a phone call. Nobody phones me in the gym… nobody phones me much in general actually. I picked up…

“Hello John, its Bob Blank (made up name). How are you?”

“Good Bob. Just in the gym. Actually on a treadmill…killing myself.”

No idea who he is.

“Look, remember we spoke a couple of weeks ago. Well one of our investors wants to talk to you. We’re closing our fund this week.”

“Yeah sure. That sounds great.”

Completely lost. Not the foggiest.

“Great. Ok, he’ll probably call you this evening.”

“Thats great Bob!!!”

Anyway, there you have it. Do you believe in miracles?

Wishful thinking. But I’ll take a call from anyone just now.

John Startup



INJURY TIME – Whats Going On Time

11.16am. So your wondering whats going on…

So am I. 

Yesterday one of our investors was scheduled to talk to our other investors with a view to getting them to chip into a small bridge round of funding. I got a small email from him to say it was a good call, and that he’d call me this morning to let me know how it went.

However I have not heard from him yet.

My gut tells me this is all a bad sign. Because if the call went very well, he would have phoned me and told me so. 

I had hoped that I would have had a yes or no on this by now. If it was no, I wanted to be making some biblical last minute calls to try save the day. I need that no before I can do that. I need to be in desperation, last chance saloon mode where I am totally fearless of a FUCK OFF response.

My worry is that everything will just linger on a few extra days… and I want the clarity in my mind on the future one way or another.

I just feel like I’m waiting and a bit powerless right now.

There are the logistical issues of winding down a company, letting everyone else go, packing my bags and moving home 🙂 (sad but true). All that requires its own energy and time. So we do need to know the future as soon as possible.

I sat up late last night watching Love Actually with a tub of Ben and Jerrys. 

This is what its come to.

John Startup


Day 28 of 30: Reflections

1.49pm. Met up with an old friend I used to live with. She lived through a lot of the trials and tribulations. I gave her the whole picture. Pretty much all you’ve read here… but LIVE! It’s more entertaining.

My ‘startup’ has actually been around a long time. 8 years to be honest. It was never created with business in mind, but it just kept on growing in a bizarre organic way with me nudging it uphill. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve always felt there was a business here, but its been a very slow process. I have refused to take no for an answer and constantly refused to let it die. I have been stubborn as hell in getting it to this point.

So when I told my friend that I had this impending deadline to save the day, she began reminiscing on the amount of times I had said the same thing. She reminded me of all the times I said… “that’s it, I’m giving up”… but then plowed on regardless.

She also reminded me of all the funny times over the last 8 years, the women that have broken my heart, the despairing times, and all the achievements too. She asked me how I summated it…

There is a story here. A story onto itself. The problem is that not many other people in the world really grasp it in full apart from me. Some people have parts of the tale. Others have chunks of it. But nobody has the full view of it like I do. Our current investors certainly don’t understand the passion and energy behind it all. Nor should they. I don’t think.

I told her that when you get to this level, a level where I’m meeting the biggest people in the room… I only have time to give them a very high overview, and in truth that never does the story justice. The emotion and energy is removed from it somehow.

I told her that I did understand what had been achieved, but at this point, it is where it is, and this really could be the end of the line. 

I really want to be able to summate things properly, to have good perspective on it, and to pull the story together correctly when all is said and done. But right now… its tricky.

It’s not over yet. Tuesday is D-Day in terms of bridge round possibility which would represent yet another life line on this crazy adventure. 

Will the story go on? We will know very very soon.

John Startup

Day 27 of 30: Feeling Lazy

1.08pm. It’s the day after thanks giving and I’m trying to motivate myself to do more stuff. But right now I’m completely lethargic to do anything. Everywhere is quiet Stateside to I’m a little excused. I’m somewhat banking on this bridge round of funding coming through next week, but it’s not guaranteed at all…

But everyones on holiday… so theres only so much a person can do.

In the last few days we have switched off our Google Ads we have had running. Just looking at our current analytics – wow, they have really plummeted. We have had distrust in Google Analytics in the previous months. Simply put, they don’t quite match up… our Google Ads say its directing X amount of people to our site… but our Analytics say we have less people on the site than that.

Our programmer insists we have all necessary coding in place. But somethings amiss.

Nevertheless, the numbers make for depressing reading. No point looking at them from here on in…

Going to the gym… need to get some movement in this body.

John Startup